The Grimbriar Gazette | Issue No. I
Updated: Sep 3
Weather
The weatherstone is wet, therefore it is raining. Three toads have gathered around the weatherstone, so the chance of rain continuing through the night is 60%. Sneezing has seen a 3% increase throughout the Academy, pointing towards lightning in the West.
Lost & Found
Found: A left boot. Just the one. Enchanted to pace anxiously near the East Hall noticeboard. If it belongs to you, best collect it before it wears a trench in the stone.
Lost: A voice. Whispered last from the old wishing well. No sign of the owner, but the echo keeps asking for “just one more secret.”
Found: A jar of whisperwill stalks, mislabeled as "Goblin Pickles." At least three students experienced vivid hallucinations involving sentient wallpaper and dancing teeth. Nurse Bell asks that we label our jars properly, "for goodness' sake."
Gossip
Gargoyle Winks and Moonlit Madness
Love is in the air, or possibly the stone, as several students now claim that one of the South Tower gargoyles has begun winking. The reports started with fourth-year Nella Frey, who insists she locked eyes with the horned guardian just as she was coming back from a starwatch.
“It winked. With the left eye. I swear on my spellbook,” she said, clutching said book tightly to her chest.
Since then, a growing group of romantically-inclined students have taken up post beneath the tower at dusk, hoping for a repeat performance. Professors are urging students to focus on their midterms rather than “wooing ornamental enchanted beasts.”
Still, love (or lunacy) knows no bounds. A new club has even been formed: The Stoneheart Society, whose members leave chocolates and awkward poetry at the base of the tower each morning. So far, no luck.
Rumors
The Door That Wasn't There Yesterday
Students tending to Moonroot in the Greenhouse were alarmed this week to discover a door that, by all accounts, hadn’t existed the day before. Set into the far corner wall where potting benches once stood, the new addition appears wooden, with an iron handle shaped like a closed eye. Several students claim it hums faintly, especially near dusk, and one bold first-year who tried to open it reported a chill and the scent of rain...but the door did not budge.
Plint Wintle of the Society of Plant Sympathy insists it’s “just an echo of the greenhouse’s original blueprint” and says it should be left alone while the enchantments settle. Groundskeeper Voss disagrees, having roped it off with a string of garlic bulbs and a handwritten sign that simply reads: “NOPE.”
Regardless, the door has quickly become a hotspot of speculation and dares. One student reportedly tried to poke it with a wand and was temporarily turned into a bowl of forget-me-nots. They’ve since been repotted and are recovering nicely.
Familiar Faces
Meet Juna Drell, Spellwright & Beetle Whisperer
If you’ve passed the stables recently and heard someone reciting limericks to a swarm of emerald beetles, chances are you’ve met Juna Drell. This inventive second-year spellwright has gained attention, and a fair bit of admiration, for her latest enchantment: a charm that allows familiars to “speak” in rhyme.
“It started as a way to understand my cat, Moth,” Juna said, during our interview beneath the shade of the weeping fig. “But now he only speaks in tragic ballads. I’m not sure that’s better.”
Despite the hiccups, the charm has spread among her peers like wildfire, particularly in the familiar dormitories. One student reported their rat whispering shopping lists in perfect iambic pentameter. Another said their owl won’t stop composing haikus about worms.
When asked what’s next, Juna shrugged. “Maybe something that lets my beetles do slam poetry. Or tells me why Moth’s been staring at the chimney for three days straight.”
We suggest keeping an ear out...literally. Her beetles have been known to buzz in harmony when she’s near.
Word Search
Weekly Menu
As always, dishes can be altered to meet each student's specific dietary needs upon request.
Monday
Breakfast: Lavender oatcakes with honey-whipped butter; sugared pear slices; violet milk
Lunch: Roast mushroom pasties; crispy beet crisps; fizzy mint lemonade
Dinner: Blackberry-glazed boar shank; nettle dumplings; spiced cider float
Tuesday
Breakfast: Fireberry scones; dragonfruit compote; cinnamon-bark chai
Lunch: Ash-baked potato skins with ember cheese; sun-dried root salad; volcanic cherry fizz
Dinner: Smoky flame-roasted chicken; blistered herb rice; glowing ember cordial
Wednesday
Breakfast: Blue corn porridge with cream swirls; sugar kelp twist; elderberry tonic
Lunch: Pondweed pesto flatbread; cucumber coins; rainwater spritz with lemon bubbles
Dinner: Glazed eel fillet; tidebean mash; salt-sweet seawhip brew
Thursday
Breakfast: Pine-nut waffles; mistberry syrup; spruce needle tea
Lunch: Thistle-stuffed cabbage rolls; crisproot fritters; sparkling juniper juice
Dinner: Braised venison stew; goldenroot biscuits; herb-laced bramblewine
Friday
Breakfast: Garlic-toast soldiers; runny golden eggs; roasted clove broth
Lunch: Goblin-baked garlic knots; charred onion pie; pickled shallot soda
Dinner: Blood sausage and leek mash; black garlic gravy; fire-roasted plum cordial
Saturday
Breakfast: Moon-milk buns; charcoal-dusted apples; sleepytime fennel brew
Lunch: Shadowbeet tart; string cheese ropes; chilled ghostberry punch
Dinner: Charred lamb ribs; inky wild rice; glowing moonflower elixir
Sunday
Breakfast: Golden sunbread with apricot jam; cloudberry yogurt; sunrise tea fizz
Lunch: Picnic plate (herbed chickpea loaf, fig wedges, orchard pickles); meadow lemonade
Dinner: Hearth-baked shepherd’s pie; candied parsnips; mulled orchard wine
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