The Grimbriar Gazette | Issue No. II
Updated: 5 days ago
Weather
The weatherstone is dry, therefore it is not raining. No toads have gathered around the weatherstone, so no rain is anticipated for at least 24 hours. A family of beetles rests on the weatherstone, therefore it will be windy tomorrow. Students are advised to avoid the third step of every staircase until the beetles leave.
Lost & Found
Found: A pocket-sized storm cloud. Contained in a jar. Occasionally rumbles if spoken to sharply.
Lost: One glove, left-hand, enchanted for warmth. Last seen dragging itself up the banister toward the Astronomy Tower.
Found: A bottle of ink that refills itself... with someone else’s handwriting. Warning: may include love letters or detention slips. It may even be writing this issue...
Gossip
Professor Lintwiddle’s Mysterious Visitor
Late Tuesday evening, several students spotted an unfamiliar figure entering Professor Lintwiddle’s office through the wall. Yes, through it. Witnesses say the person was dressed in a coat stitched from bird feathers and carried a walking stick that smelled of mold. They did not speak, but left behind a trail of moss and the distinct scent of old parchment.
Lintwiddle has refused to comment, but his desk has reportedly been rearranged, his tea shelf locked for the first time in decades, and his cat, Chairleg, now refuses to enter the office at all. A few curious souls tried snooping for clues, but the hallway outside his door has since become unusually slippery. One student described it as “walking on a freshly sneezed-on toad.”
Speculation ranges from a long-lost sibling to a time-traveling inspector from the Ministry of Did You Really Think That Spell Would Work. One thing is certain...whatever business was conducted behind that shimmering wall, it was not ordinary. And at Grimbriar, that says something.
Rumors
A Library Book That Bites Back
Three students have now returned from the Restricted Stacks with matching finger bandages and vaguely panicked expressions. The culprit? A book titled “On the Perils of Predictive Poultry” that appears to be defensive. According to second-year Bel Thimble, she only opened it to the second page before the book snapped shut on her thumb and hissed something about “trespassers.”
The library staff insists the book has been re-shelved correctly and poses no threat if handled with the appropriate gloves. Unfortunately, no one can agree on what those are. Leather gloves melt near the book. Wool causes it to sneeze. Bare hands, clearly, are a bad idea.
A temporary warning sign has been placed above its shelf, scrawled in chalk: “READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THE CHICKENS KNOW.” No one knows what that means. But we advise selecting your reading material from the less opinionated shelves for now.
Familiar Faces
Meet Nib Wickham, Keeper of the Broom Ballet
Every dawn, before most students are awake, Nib Wickham is out on the lawn commanding a dozen enchanted brooms in synchronized flight. Not for cleaning, but for performance. Nib, a third-year Enchantment Arts student, has somehow charmed the brooms to perform aerial choreography set to music he hums under his breath.
The Broom Ballet, as it’s been dubbed, includes formations like the Corkscrew Crescendo and the Falling Star Swoop. “It started as an accident,” Nib confessed. “I was trying to charm one to do the sweeping for me and whistled without thinking. It pirouetted. The rest is history.”
The Headmistress has formally asked him to take rehearsals to the back field, after one broom clipped a gargoyle who is, reportedly, still sulking. Nib doesn’t mind. “The breeze out there makes them twirl better.”
There are now rumors of a full performance at next month’s Harvest Night. Front row seating advised. Hard hats optional.
Word Search
This Week’s Menu at Grimbriar Hall
As always, every meal can be altered to meet the dietary needs of any student upon request.
Monday
Breakfast: Pumpkin seed muffins, apricot butter, pine brew
Lunch: Roasted squash soup, craggy bread, frosted blackberry fizz
Dinner: Tangleweed stew, sticky honeyed carrots, apple clove cider
Tuesday
Breakfast: Crispy bacon twists, jammy eggs, spicy oakleaf tea
Lunch: Charred root sandwich, lava chips, volcanic limeade
Dinner: Sizzling thunderbird skewers, cumin rice, red pepper cordial
Wednesday
Breakfast: Lemon cloud pancakes, elderflower cream, mistwater tea
Lunch: Pond-cress tartlets, dill potato slivers, bluebottle brew
Dinner: Braised catfish tail, peppered beans, glimmering marsh punch
Thursday
Breakfast: Herb scones, warm pear slivers, spruce sap latte
Lunch: Burdock pie, candied turnip shards, sparkling nettle tonic
Dinner: Roast hare, chestnut mash, rosehip wine
Friday
Breakfast: Onion quiche, grilled mushroom stems, garlic broth
Lunch: Deep-fried bread knots, char-crusted tomato soup, basil tonic
Dinner: Braised lamb with black lentils, shadow onions, redroot fizz
Saturday
Breakfast: Dark oat porridge, starberry jam, toasted clove milk
Lunch: Charcoal-blistered eggplant, sage crisps, duskberry cordial
Dinner: Roast beet steaks, garlic custard, glow tea
Sunday
Breakfast: Golden millet toast, cream cheese and fig, morning dew tea
Lunch: Picnic box with almond crackers, brie, and strawberry glaze; lavender lemonade
Dinner: Hearth pies (assorted), crisped green beans, elder cider
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