The Grimbriar Gazette | Issue No. IX
Weather
The weatherstone is wet; therefore, it is raining. No falling leaves have landed on the weatherstone, so rain will likely stop by Tuesday. Expect gusts of wind throughout the nights, as a garter snake has been sleeping against the west side of the stone.
Lost & Found
Lost: A rat with a bald patch on his head. Goes by the name "Rat Monk." Please return to East Dormitories and he'll find his way back.
Found: A pair of black dice with red dots. Oddly hot to the touch. I'll leave them by the front entrance. They only roll threes.
Found: A silver locket with a photo of a horse inside. Does a poor impression of clip-clop noises while you walk. Please find Eloise at dinner to claim.
Gossip
Local Chair Gains Sentience
A chair in the student library has been facing an increased level of scrutiny this past week. Once regarded as the coziest chair in the library, with a deep-set cushion and soft tartan fabric, it has been utterly empty for days now. It all began when Thomas Blarmy sat down to read by the fire and then leapt from the chair with a yelp.
"I felt something moving underneath me! Felt like a nest of snakes, all squirming about," Thomas recalled, visibly disturbed.
Word has since spread, and the now-lonesome chair sits abandoned, but not without curious investigators prodding at its insides. Thus far, a dozen students have pulled up cushions, peeked inside the inner workings, tested the springs, and even turned the chair upside down looking for the squirming culprit. Much to their surprise, the chair uttered a single word upon being upended.
"Rude."
According to professors, it is not uncommon for household furniture to suddenly gain sentience here at Grimbriar. They advise that students simply ask permission before sitting from now on.
Rumors
Louise Does It Again, Probably
Louise Pembuckle, beloved student advisor and professor at Grimbriar, was spotted sneaking around the castle yesterday evening with a large, squirmy bag over her shoulder. The bag was described by students as "the kind you get potatoes in" and appeared to be filled with one or many things moving about. Observers said Louise thrice lowered the bag to the ground, opened it, and used baby talk on whatever was inside, leaning in to give what looked like kisses before closing it up again. Having already been caught storing rescued critters in the Grimbriar stables, it's likely that Miss Pembuckle has once more discovered a magical creature in need of a temporary home. Curious students are encouraged to visit the stables with caution.
Familiar Faces
Meet Siz Fizzicks, Professor of Chronomancy
Siz Fizzicks teaches chronomancy here at Grimbriar. The unusual and often difficult magick of time is not a popular class amongst students, who often claim it gives them a headache. However, Professor Fizzicks is not without passion in his teachings. The goblin, often dressed in eccentric outfits cobbled together from a variety of time periods, is known to dance about the class as if his feet cannot quite decide where to stand. In an effort to make chronomancy more appealing to the youths, he has also implemented a weekly demonstration of the wonders of time magick. Just last week, screams erupted from the chronomancy classroom alongside the smell of sulfur as Professor Fizzicks summoned a real-life velociraptor from the Late Cretaceous period. Both students and dinosaur were adequately startled, and at least ten textbooks were shredded before the dinosaur could be sent back to its appropriate period.
"It's a balancing act, chronomancy," says Professor Fizzicks, checking one of his many watches, "it can do great things...but it can also cause a lot of trouble. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm allowed to teach it at all."
Word Search
This Week’s Menu at Grimbriar Hall
As always, every meal can be altered to meet the dietary needs of any student upon request.
Monday
Breakfast: Buttermilk biscuits with sausage gravy, honeyed orange slices, spiced cinnamon tea
Lunch: Creamy chicken and rice soup, buttered rye rolls, ginger lemonade
Dinner: Curry-glazed pork loin, goat cheese whipped potatoes, warm pomegranate juice
Tuesday
Breakfast: Soft scrambled eggs, toasted sourdough with huckleberry jam, pineapple juice
Lunch: Grilled cheese toasties, charbroiled tomato soup, chilled apple juice
Dinner: Herb-roasted chicken, buttery herbed rice, sparkling pear tonic
Wednesday
Breakfast: Blueberry buttermilk pancakes, warm maple syrup, honey milk
Lunch: Smoked turkey and Gruyère sandwiches, crisp rainbow carrot sticks, tart lemonade
Dinner: Slow-simmered beef and vegetable stew, crusty warm bread, spiced apple cider
Thursday
Breakfast: Cinnamon French toast, warm strawberry compote, chamomile tea
Lunch: Hearty leek and lentil soup, warm cheese biscuits, cranberry juice
Dinner: Rosemary lamb shank, buttery mashed potatoes, spiced cranberry tonic
Friday
Breakfast: Brown sugar oatmeal with raisins and walnuts, toasted sourdough, apple tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese quiche, mixed green salad with blueberry vinaigrette, iced peach tea
Dinner: Lemon-butter baked salmon, herby rice pilaf, sparkling lemon fizz
Saturday
Breakfast: Golden waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, crisp bacon strips, spiced orange juice
Lunch: Savory meatball soup, warm garlic bread, tart lemonade
Dinner: Slow-roasted beef with herb gravy, Yorkshire pudding, spiced blackberry cordial
Sunday
Breakfast: Sticky cinnamon rolls, soft scrambled eggs, hot cocoa
Lunch: Herbed chicken salad croissants, fresh fruit salad, sweet iced tea
Dinner: Baked ziti with melted mozzarella, warm garlic bread, sugared basil fizz
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